Tag Archives: Coralie Emma deMellow

Demise of Mrs. Coralie Emma deMellow – March 31, 2013

Dear All,
Mrs Coralie deMellow passed away at 8:30 am this Easter Sunday morning.

I append an account sent by Mr I L Bhatia, (see picture attached) who was for years the late Melville deMellow’s assistant and trusted aide. He, after Melville deMellow passed away, looked after Mrs deMellow in a manner that was unique as it was remarkable for the qualities of trust worthiness, loyalty and selfless devotion. Without his assistance and that of Mrs Breda Dayal, wife of OC Manjit Dayal (his pictures is also sent as an attachment to this mail. Breda is currently in Ireland), Mrs deMellow would have otherwise been an abandoned lonely soul. They battled for her and sometimes even fought with her for what they knew was for her good. Mrs deMellow, with increasing age, was stubbornly difficult and it required considerable patience and tact to handle her !! Not always easy and those with aging parents will know what a formidable task that can be.!! However, these two persisted and as care givers they were superb – and wonderful. God does not make people like these very often and Mrs deMellow benefited immensely from their kindness and commitment to her. She was lucky and she lived her 95 years with dignity and in relative comfort .

The OCA have offered to pay for the hospitalisation and cremation expenses. Even after reimbursing these costs, the fund will still be left with a tidy balance. While I will endeavour to write to all the donors individually, those who contributed may please send in their comments to indicate the manner in which the balance amount should be employed. This is important since their wishes must be respected before we decide what to do with this amount. Please send in your suggestions. My thanks.

In view of the above, no further donations need be sent for this benefit fund.

My thanks, again, to all who gave their money so willingly and so generously. Your contributions went a long way in making a life more peaceful. She may not have known you individually but she knew that the funds came from those who wished her well. She was grateful. She accepted it only because it came from an alma mater associated with her late husband. It came from people with a strong fellow feeling, people with huge warmth whose only desire was to ensure that every life, and this life in particular, was lived with dignity. Consequently, for her everything in her life was a miracle. You guys made it happen. Thank you, again. “Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting” !!

My best wishes
Sincerely,

Vijay Khurana
For and on behalf of :
Mr B M Singh,
President, OCA 


[Photos of Mr. I.L. Bhatia and Mr. Manjit Dayal. Click the picture for a larger view]

Dear All,

With a heavy heart, I would like to inform you about the sad demise of Mrs. Coralie Emma deMellow (also known as Jane deMellow) this morning in the Apex Multispeciality & Laparoscopy Hospital in Faridabad where she was admitted on 29th March, in a serious condition. She was fine till Thursday and had also enjoyed fun-filling Holi on Wednesday – 27th March with the inmates. However, since she was not eating anything since Friday morning on account of varying temperature in both the hands and on account of swelling, she was admitted in the ICU of the above hospital. According to the interim Death Certificate given by the Hospital, she died of a brain stroke. According to her maid – Krishna who was with her in the hospital, she had briefly opened her eyes around 8.30 am and looked around without uttering a word.  When we (Mr. Manjit Dayal and myself) reached the hospital and were joined by Mrs. and Mr. Shukla to decide on the further course of action, she had already breathed her last a little before our arrival as the oxygen mask was still on!

She was taken in the Ambulance back to Anadi Seva Prakalp, where the inmates gave her a bath with warm water and thereafter she was draped in a colourful new green saree given by her room mate – Dr. Savitri Khanduri who was inconsolable as she had lost one of the best companions.  According to Dr. Khanduri, she apparently had premonition of her death as before going to the hospital, Mrs. DeMellow had told her that ” her time has come as Melville is calling me”. She also said to “thank Mr. BHATIA for what he did for her and to remain happy and cheerful and that God will bless him”. She also told her that she should be cremated like Melville and should be given a name by the inmates before her cremation. Thus, after offering prayers, Dr. Khanduri and other inmates nick-named her as Champa and thereafter, she was taken in the Ambulance to the Lodi Electric Crematorium where Mrs. Preminda Sen had booked the time for cremation at 3 pm. After performing all the rituals as per the advice of the priest and after floral tributes being paid by all present and wreaths being placed by Mrs. Sen, her brother, Dy. DG-AIR and others, she was cremated with full honours. Eight inmates from the Anadi Seva Prakalp including Mrs. and Mr. Pranav Shukla were also present.

BCS was represented by Mr. Vijay Khurana. Mr. Manjit Dayal was all along there with me like a solid rock since morning and all other formalities were completed in consultation and with the advice of Mr. Dayal, Mrs. Sen, Shuklas and others  who were all of immense help. While I cannot obviously write many other details, I would only like to highlight that she left for her heavenly abode in peace on a very pious day – Easter Sunday and was bid final farewell by around 25 persons. Thus now she is in the care of God. In addition to giving you this unfortunate information, I would also request you all to pray God for keeping her soul in peace. I also request you to inform all others known or related to her.

Yours sincerely,
IL Bhatia

Medical attention for Mrs DeMellow

From: Vijay Khurana
Date: Sun, Feb 24, 2013 at 3:50 PM
Subject: Re: Medical attention for Mrs. deMellow
To: I L Bhatia
Cc: BM Singh; NK Mehra; Manjit Dayal; Preminda Sen; Chandrika Grover

Dear Mr Bhatia,

Thank you for your mail.

Your efforts are appreciated. We thank you for the help and assistance that Mrs Breeda Dayal, and you are making to support Mrs DeMellow. This is remarkable and we have nothing but praise for all that you do.

On behalf of the President of the OCA, Mr B M Singh, I have been authorised to inform you that we will be happy to offer any additional assistance for Mrs DeMellow’s medical care in addition to the monthly cheque that we send for her maintenance/upkeep at Anadi Prakalp.

Please feel free to let us know if you need any additional support and we are in a position to provide it. We will do the best we can. I trust you understand.

My best wishes
Sincerely,

Vijay Khurana
For and on behalf of the President of the OCA 

On Fri, Feb 22, 2013 at 9:23 PM, I L Bhatia wrote:

Dear all,

I had sent you a self explanatory mail on Mrs. DeMellow. Mr. Shukla is actually out of the country as is evident from his reply to my mail below. Hers is a pitiable condition and much as we may desire, she is destined to be now a permanent resident of Anadi Prakalp. Both Mrs. Breeda and I had discussed about shifting her to a better place, but she did not want to be shifted and wanted to continue living there. Thus it is a fait accompli situation. I just wanted to brief all of you about her health on receipt a Mail from Mr. Vijay Khurana. With regards and best   Wishes, ILBhatia

Begin forwarded message:

Date: 21 February 2013 10:15:48 PM GMT+05:30
To: “I L Bhatia”
Subject:Re: Medical attention for Mrs. deMellow

Dear sir,

Thank you so much for bringing all this to my notice…
Don’t worry…it will taken care,
Have also instructed krishna g …to do the needful.

Am off to london n will be back on 3rd…hope to see you on 5th.

Regds
Pranav

From: Bhatia Ishwar
Date: Fri, 22 Feb 2013 00:25:40 +0800 (SGT)
To: Pranav Shukla
Subject: Medical attention for Mrs. deMellow 

Dear Mr. Shukla,

I went to see Mrs. deMellow this morning and was little concerned about her deteriorating health. I thought of meeting you personally to explain her condition but was given to understand that you are out of town (although none was certain) and hence this mail. Last fortnight when I had met and seen her (when incidentally Mrs. Breeda Dayal had also come), we found her to be quite cheerful despite the fact that she was not able to stand. However, this morning, I found that her feet were swollen and need to be examined by a Doctor urgently. It appears that because of the lack of leg movement, swelling has developed in the feet. Her eyes were also bad and water kept trickling all the time. I feel that unless she is made to sit for some time during the day, she may develop bed-sores, which will make her condition much worse. I could guess that she has the will to stand but it is the lack of energy and apprehension of falling again which is dissuading her from sitting or standing. She was by and large happy but was mentioning about lack of attention and getting little neglected.  She had also apparently told you about her eyes, but perhaps because of your busy schedule and other social work/engagements, arrangements for her being examined by a Doctor could not materialize. I am therefore making this special request for getting her examined by a Doctor urgently so that she is given necessary medication. She was extremely happy with Dr. Savitri Khanduri who keeps helping her as and when necessary. Since she at times skips the meals for various reasons, I have left sufficient quantity of biscuits, chips, juices, cheese cubes etc. etc. so that she can munch them whenever she feels hungry. I will also appreciate if you would kindly advise someone over there including Krishna to move her legs and make her sit at least once or twice during the day to avoid her getting bed sores.

I will be going to Hardwar-Rishikesh next week On Tuesday in connection with some rituals of my brother who died last year in early March and therefore can only possibly meet you on Monday – 25th Feb outside your office or next Tuesday (5th March) as I will be back only on 4th March, 2013. Till then, I think you will be able to attend to the above problems as you have always been very kind in looking after these hapless and needy persons in times of distress who bank upon you for necessary help and assistance. God bless you. Please do let me know if I can be of any assistance.

With regards and best wishes, ILB

Update on Mrs Coralie (Jane) DeMellow February 13, 2013

Dear All,

My apologies for this delayed update. When the situation is stable and “all is well” then one tends to fit into a groove and let life takes its course. No deft handling warranted nor any change required. Such has, touch wood, been the case with Mrs DeMellow, these last few months.

Here is an update on Mrs DeMellow

After her hospitalisation at the Holy Family Hospital in Delhi last October / November, Mrs DeMellow was moved to Anand Seva Prakalp run by Mr & Mrs Pranav Shukla. We had the following mail from Mr I L Bhatia, who has been the principal care giver for Mrs DeMellow. His association with her dates back to the time when he worked with her husband. Mrs DeMellow, at age 96, has implicit trust in him and with good reason!!

Dear Mr. Khurana,

I had gone to meet Mrs. deMellow this morning as she had sent a couple of messages for seeing her – although I had met her only  a fortnight back when Mr. Manjit Dayal had also accompanied me. There is not much improvement in her health and since Mrs. Shukla had taken ill more than a month back, she is not going to the Home since then. However, Mrs. deMellow appeared to be  happy with the maid and didn’t have any serious complaint except that the bathroom is primitive. She is still unable to stand, much alone walk. She however still talks of returning to her flat and managing with the help of two maid servants, which to my mind is impossible! I told her to relax and first get well and be strong enough to walk and think of returning to her flat only after 6-8 months when she is able to do her daily routines herself.  She however said that she eats well. I had taken the things desired by her and also attended to her other problems and needs which I am capable of.

With regards and best wishes,

Yours sincerely,

IL Bhatia

We received additional funds for the Mrs DeMellow’s care. K S Dugal continues his monthly contribtution of Rs 1500 per month and so does an Anonymous donor, whom I know to be terribly generous in all such matters. In addition friends and relatives of Mrs DeMellow sent an amount to the account. Since these contributions came through Mr Bhatia we sent the following mail with a copy to these wonderful supporters:

From: Vijay Khurana [mailto:vk@devats.com]
Sent: Saturday, 17 November 2012 3:04 PM
To: I L Bhatia;
Cc: SIMEONS Rodney [Aveley Primary School]; Brajindar Mohan Singh; Neel Kamal Mehra; manjitdayal@gmail.com; kavita dayal
Subject: Re: GREETINGS FROM WESTERN AUSTRALIA

Dear Mr Bhatia,

I refer to your e-mail below.

I confirm that we have received on  October 25, 2012 an amount of US $ 578 which translated into a sum of Rs 31,813 into the account for the benefit of Mrs DeMellow.

On behalf of the Old Cottonians Association, we express our thanks to the donors. I am taking the liberty of endorsing this mail to Mr Rodney Simeons for his information.

We will continue to make monthly disbursements for Mrs DeMellow’s benefit. I will also place the details on the Old Cottonians web site in good time since I will be travelling next week. I trust you understand.

My kind regards

Sincerely,

Vijay Khurana

On behalf of the Old Cottonians Association

P.S. Mr Rodney Simeons is the Principal of Aveley Primary School in Melbourne, Australia 

For the record, the Old Cottonians Association has disbursed from this fund the following amounts for Mrs DeMellow’s treatment.

Hospitalisation expenses Rs 97,664

Monthly payments for her up keep were made for the months of October to December and the one for January 2013 has recently been sent. We send a contribution of Rs 10,000 per month

We currently have a balance of Rs 238,004

This is for the information of all the donors to this fund and well wishers of Mrs DeMellow. Should you have any queries or suggestions to offer, please feel free to either mail me at vk@devats.com or call me on + 91 98 10 56 23 04. 

You may always contact our President Mr B M Singh. 

My good wishes

Sincerely,

Vijay Khurana

On behalf of the Old Cottonians Association.

DOWNLOAD: Updated account sheet

Update Mrs Coralie DeMellow – Sept 17th 2012

Dear All,
Mrs DeMellow was hospitalised in August, 2012 after a pelvic injury and was operated upon by Dr Pradeep Sharma, an eminent surgeon, at the Holy Family Hospital. She continues to make excellent progress. She is now able to stand and walk around with a bit of support.
There is now compelling pressure from the Hospital, though one must compliment them for their compassion, to effect her early discharge lest she contract a hospital infection. Mr Ishwar Bhatia, her principal care giver, family friend and guardian has been frantically trying to find an old age home for Mrs DeMellow. He is of the opinion that she can no longer live by herself even with the support of staff since she needs full time medical assistance. She needs greater support and has now finally reconciled to an idea that she had resisted for far too long.

Mrs deMellow hospitalized / update

Dear Old Cottonians and Well-wishers,
We had been informed that Mrs deMellow had a fall in her apartment, has been hospitalized and will undergo surgery today. Mr. Bhatia was there to help her like he has done for decades. The OCA will continue to assist, and seeks support in this ongoing effort:

BM Singh’s email to Mr Bhaita in response to his email also appended below:

Dear Mr Bhatia,

Thank you for your mail. This is distressing news and makes the task of all concerned even more difficult. Your efforts are to be lauded and your continuing support appreciated.

Bad luck it certainly was to have Mrs DeMellow fall in the manner she did bring alive our worst fears. After my visit to you in the company of Mr N K Mehra, we had agreed to send a monthly contribution of Rs 10,000 and this has been put in place with the last payment effected earlier this month. We have so far effected a payment of Rs 30,000 to Mrs DeMellow’s account, as agreed.

While we will certainly visit Mrs DeMellow, we have just spoken to Dr S K Sridharan who was previously the Director of Holy Family Hospital.

Mrs DeMellow is in the general ward on the first floor. She will be operated upon tomorrow. The surgeon is Dr P Sharma, a competent person. Word has been spread around the hospital that the patient is a VIP and they will give her due attention and also offer her the lowest possible fee costs. We have a corpus that will be used to contribute to Mrs DeMellow’s hospital expenditure. So, please do let us know what we can do to assist within the constraints of the funds we have collected – and our abilities. We are ready and willing to extend ourselves.

Mr Khurana, and I are traveling this week. Mr N K Mehra is occupied with care of a mother who is 92 and a mother in law who is in her 80’s and is a patient of Parkinson’s. It seems we are in the same age group as you with much the same set of constraints but stretching ourselves as best as we can!!

Mrs DeMellow is lucky to have the kind of support base that few in this country can expect under the circumstances. Your efforts extend considerable and the OCA community is there to aid and assist as best as it can. We work as a team!

While on the subject of future care, we would also request you to ascertain whether she can find a place in a good old age home like the one you were referring to. We on our part shall also try to locate one like the one in Dwarka.

My best wishes
B.M.Singh

Email from Mr. Bhatia to BM Singh [OCA India President] :

Dear Mr. Singh

The bad news is that she [Mrs DeMellow] had fallen down at her residence and was apparently lying there for many hours before her morning maid came for work. Since Mrs. deMellow did not open the door, the maid came rushing to my house. I had gone there with the bunch of keys, but the wooden door could not be opened as the key was stuck there from inside. I had to call the President and General Secretary of RWA and in their presence with the help of our RWA workers, we were eventually able to open the door only to find her lying on the floor. She was picked up by four persons and placed on the bed. We called a known Orthopedics doctor who on seeing her leg declared that she has a fracture and should therefore be removed to the hospital. I had accordingly called the ambulance and with great difficulty was able to take her to Holy Family Hospital opposite Escorts where after four hours of x-ray and testing, it was declared that she has a pelvic bone fracture. Since at that place, plaster is ruled out, there will be surgery and possibly the Doctors may have to insert a rod. However, because of Eid, senior Doctors were not available and therefore they will take the final decision tomorrow and accordingly may operate upon her in one or two days. I have deposited the initial payment of Rs. 11,000/-. For normal operation, the approx. expenditure may be around 40K, but if the rod is to be inserted, the operation may cost more than a lakh [Rs 100,000] as informally told to me, which I have promised them. However, the Ortho Dr. there was hopeful that it may not be necessary to insert the rod.

I am writing this mail not to seek any financial assistance from you, but keeping you informed about her health and possibly on humanitarian grounds, someone from BCS could possibly visit her in the hospital. But more than that, her shifting after the operation to an age old home will be absolutely necessary as I strongly feel that after her return it will be virtually impossible for her to live alone as she would be needing 24-hour assistance which an age-old centre only can provide. I have been told that there is a home in Dwarka specifically for Christians and one Dr. Mathews is in-charge there where possibly she can be shifted. I am trying to ascertain the position myself, but would also appreciate if you can render some help in this regard keeping in view the concern highlighted by all of you during our personal meeting and subsequent emails/discussion. I will go to the hospital again tomorrow but I have my own limitations as I am also now around 70 and therefore have my own problems and commitment like any other person of my age.

With best wishes,
IL Bhatia

Update on fund benefit of Mrs DeMellow

Dear ALL
Here is an update from Vijay Khurana on the fund status and assistance being provided to Mrs. DeMellow

Update on the fund for the benefit of Mrs DeMellow. August 1, 2012

There is never a dearth of effort for a good and worthy cause. Mrs DeMellow’s plight has touched a cord with so many that the contributions continue to pour in.

We acknowledge, with thanks, the following amounts received in the last few weeks:

Mr Deepak Atal  – Rs 10,000

Ravi Inder Singh (Ibbetson 1965) – Rs.  3,000

The Australian Anglo-Indian Association Benevolent Fund  – Rs 10,800

Mr Deepak Atal is not an OC but a friend of Chittaranjan Gauba  (Lefroy House 1959) who sent in his contribution with a note, which is reproduced below. [via a link].

Ravi Inder Singh is the younger brother of Param Inder Singh who now resides in Dehradun. No, he never played tennis. That is the more sports oriented R I Singh (Lefroy 1961) and also “Ravi Inder”  !!

The Australian Anglo-Indian Association Benevolent Fund is represented in India by the editor, Mr Harry MacLure, of “Anglos in the Wind”. This publication is based in Chennai. They will be happy and delighted to carry any contributory article that is relevant to the Anglo-Indian community, which is unfortunately a dying breed in this country. They formed an important teaching force in the years immediately after independence and the quality of this teaching pool was distinguished. It was of a high order – very dedicated and very committed. Their numbers have dwindled with migration and all that remains as evidence of their presence is the occasional tribute to their unique cuisine which can be found in several parts of the country. In all such cases only the discerning can identify those unique origins !!

We have an Anonymous donor, who has sent in a sum of Rs 1500, which he proposes to continue on a monthly basis. He had earlier sent in a lump sum of Rs 10,000.

K S Dugal, (Ibbetson, 1961) has decided to send in a sum of Rs 1500 per month until Mrs DeMellow survives and is in need.

Brig Arun Kochhar (Curzon, 1963) has sent in his contribution but we are still trying to locate that cheque at the office of the OCA. It will turn up and be counted !!

Thank you all, yet again.

For your information, Deepak Lamba and Breda Dayal visited Mrs Coralie DeMellow and have taken action to install a full time help during the day time. Mrs DeMellow, Jane as she is commonly called, is emphatic and clear headed in what she wants though not necessarily what she needs ! She has to be patiently persuaded (not easy!!) but these guys have been handling her well often with the support of Mr Bhatia, the one person Jane trusts implicitly. So, there is action from our end to provide support and the funds are also being directed to ensure that she has food and provisions to cater to her needs. This monitoring will be an ongoing procedure under the guidance of Mr B M Singh.

The updated accounts will be posted later this month when we  call for the bank’s statement.

Once again, thank you all for your support. I am sure Melville DeMellow will be satisfied with our initiatives though we will never hear his voice again except what was previously recorded !!

Cheers

Vijay Khurana

LETTERS FROM MR ATAL and MR MACLURE

 

Mrs Coralie Emma deMellow – correction/update/rejoinder

Dear OCs

Further to the details of the visit to Mrs deMellow, here is a letter from Mr. I.L. Bhatia that is of importance. We apologize for the misspelling of the names and will be correcting this error now.

Sincerely,
OCA Web Team

I thought I must tell you about a couple of changes which you ought to make in the write-up based on factual position. These are broadly as under:

The Names:
Melville Frederick Oswald deMellow. Born on 28.04.1913. However, he used to write Melville deMellow which he used to pronounce also as “The News Read by Melville deMellow”. deMellow is one word with d small.

Mrs. Coralie Emma deMellow (also known as Jane).

(I have purposely given the correct spellings as both of them were very sensitive persons, more so in the matter of their names. Editor: Our apologies. Corrections being effected!)

Family:
Mrs. deMellow’s elder sister lives in Bangalore along with her son is not able to come to Delhi, since he looks after his mother.

Her brother – Dr. Stephens (A Medical Doctor) who is 100-years old lives in New Zealand.

All three have 90% hearing impairment.  I am somehow in touch with both of them through mails or at times I connect these persons on my mobile so that Mrs. deMellow can speak to them on special occasions like Birthdays, WAs etc.

Assignment with Radio:
Mr. deMellow was a regular employee of AIR on a 58-year contract. All the performing artists in AIR (there was no Doordarshan then), were termed as Staff`Artists and initially were given a five year contract. Later, it was decided to give them a contract till 58 years of age – to be at par with the Govt. employees. Although Mr. deMellow’s contract up to the age of 58 years expired in 1972, he continued to get extension of two year contract till 1978. He retired in the scale of a Joint Secretary. The only difference between Staff Artists vis-à-vis Govt. employees was that while the former were not entitled to Govt. Pension, the latter were entitled. This distinction was also done away with in 1982 when all the Staff Artists were declared Govt. servants. However, by that time, Mr. deMellow had retired and therefore all SAs who were in position prior to 1982 were not entitled to pension. Mr. Jasdev Singh who was trained by Mr. deMellow is getting a fat pension as he retired after 1982.  In short, he was not paid on assignment basis but was getting regular salary every month.  The ex-gratis payment of Rs. 1500/- was sanctioned by AIR in 2009 when she had corresponded with Mrs. Sonia Gandhi as advised by me. But it was suddenly stopped as the Prasar Bharti Board had stopped all such payments. The DGs of AIR whom I knew personally (Ms. Noreen Naqvi and presently Mr. Liladhar Mandloi) could not get it restored as it was a Board’s decision.  The article in the newspaper was a subtle message for AIR in their ignoring the widow of a Padma Shri broadcasting icon!

I worked with Mr. deMellow exactly for ten years from 19.08.66 to 18.08.76 when I moved out after qualifying the UPSC examination. Even after I got shifted to administrative line, I was in touch with deMellows and was considered a family member.  After the untimely death of her husband, Mrs. deMellow did  not want to live in Kalkaji and wanted to be shifted to Saket so that she can be some where near to my residence.

After working in several Departments and Ministries of the Govt. of India, I superannuated in April 2004 after working for more than six years as Chief Vigilance Officer in the Ministry of Water Resources. Immediately thereafter I joined as Adviser in AAI where I worked till February, 2012  All these years, I have  tried to help and assist her in every possible manner which she gratefully acknowledges as well. I do it out of compassion rather than any compulsion. Practically all workers and residents know me who go to her house immediately in case of a problem and also immediately inform me when she has a problem.

While I have not been introduced to Mr. Vijay Khurana formally, nor in a detailed manner to Mr. Neel Mehra and Mr. B.M. Singh, I thought of giving you my background and therefore this detailed mail. Breda Dayal came in to picture 4-5 years back only and I had no idea as to who she was, till I was introduced to her about 3 years back. Mrs. Dayal is an Irish lady who genuinely helps her whenever she can.

When I met both the above gentlemen the other day, I had emphasized that the best thing would be to depute someone to try get her a fixed monthly amount with which she can live a decent life. Perhaps, you can concentrate on that and in the meantime, as was requested during our inter-action with them, to arrange for a lady assistance from 8 am to 8 pm. Since I am also now +68, I do not have much energy left to run around. Still I do help her and regularly see her to meet her medical and grocery needs, payment of all bills etc. despite the fact that it has genuinely impacted my life in a way! My only interest is that she should pass the remaining years of her life as she would like to do and therefore despite telling her about the old age homes, never compelled her to shift there as she is comfortable staying in her home.

For any other information, you can contact me whenever you feel like doing it.

With best wishes,

IL Bhatia

OCA Welfare visit: Mrs deMellow

Dear All
Last week, B.M. Singh – the initiator and Neel Mehra – the backbone of this project; visited Mrs Coralie DeMello deMellow. A couple of their photographs are shown below, with Mrs DeMello deMellow (she is called Jane by those who know her), Mr I.L. Bhatia and Mrs Breda Dayal.

Neel Mehra with Mrs Coralie DeMello deMellow flanked by Mr. Bhatia and Mrs Breda Dayal ~ BM Singh with Mrs Coralie DeMello deMellow flanked by Mr. Bhatia and Mrs Breda Dayal. Click for larger picture.

Much of what we know about Mrs  DeMello deMellow has come to us from Breda who regularly visits the lady. Mr I L Bhatia was a secretary to Mr Melville DeMello deMellow. A hard working and devoted friend he joined government service and retired after a successful career. He now lives in the same complex as Mrs DeMello deMellow and is a person she trusts. He is there to support her in any manner that he can. Mrs DeMello deMellow has confidence in both these persons and that is a statement in itself when people at that age, 95 years, begin to develop fears and insecurities of their own.

Mrs DeMello deMellow, the nonagenarian, exhibits all the signs of physical ageing but is remarkably free from social ageing. Her intelligence and her cognitive processes have not declined. Thin and emaciated, she has her wits about her. Her hand writing is remarkably stable and steady. She writes her own cheques and is aware of the balance in the account, which is now in a precariously depleted state. What is impaired is her hearing. She has a high sense of insecurity (“What do I do when I am alone and frightened? !!” ) She is terribly lonely, alone but concerned at the cost of a presence. “If someone comes to work and stay with me during the day, do I have to make her tea? Who is to feed this person? ” are the kind of questions that draw her attention. She has no near relative around her. A sister, older than her lives in Bangalore in a home for the aged and an even older brother in New Zealand. There is no contact with any of them except that the same genes are healthy and operative in all three cases!

It is fear, the dread that comes with being all by yourself, that afflicts her most. It haunts her constantly inspite of the assurances of those who have made an effort to help her. She feels helpless and that apprehension is a constant theme. Accompanied by penury, it takes on a hue all very dark and with uncomfortable tones. The saving grace is her frequent return to balance when she is assured that she is not isolated and unwanted. To alleviate that sense of dismay is not easy and the care givers make a constant effort. It is loneliness of the night that she dreads the most.

Mrs DeMello deMellow eats twice a day, the breakfast and the lunch are her only meals and they are understandably frugal. She has declined to move into an old age home and is keen to retain her dignity and her independence. Understandable. She has lived an active live and this is apparent when you learn that she was teacher of Russian until 2002.

She remembered Melville telling her about his wonderful years at BCS. He was there from 1925-9. She recalls he would go up to The Ridge to practice his speech with the use of raw eggs. I wonder how he did that!! Well whatever technique he used was superb because his commentary of Gandhiji funeral, the Republic Day parade or a India hockey final are still remembered for the vividness of their description of the event. It left you spell bound for its detailed narration in a voice and language that painted a picture that was animated and eloquent.

Melville DeMello deMellow passed away in 1989. He was not a permanent employee of All India Radio and was therefore paid on an assignment basis. His last employment was with the Sports Authority of India who hired his services for the Asian Games in 1979. After that stint they kept him on until 1989 and he passed away. Out of compassion, an ex-gratia payment was made to him of Rs 1,500 every month until last year when it was discontinued. The absence of this source and the continual dipping into their savings has resulted in Mrs DeMello deMellow facing a financial closure of sorts. She has no savings and no source of income. She is without funds of any kind. What little gold she had was sold. That is hard for any woman but the compulsions of the situation were such with little option available.

To offer Mrs DeMello deMellow immediate relief, B M Singh and Neel Mehra have disbursed an amount of Rs 10,000. Further action is contemplated to ensure that the lady is well settled and offered complete care. Her insecurity and the surrounding uncertainty must be eliminated so that she can pass the rest of her days with a degree of equanimity and comfort. This is what we aim to do.

The contributions are still coming in and more will be welcome. We aim to develop a fund where we can support Mrs DeMello deMellow with a month payout. Currently we estimate this to be approximately Rs 10,000 per month. Given our initiative, it is possible that other organisations may want to assist in taking care of Mrs DeMello deMellow. We will need to assess the need and act suitably.

The time and effort of B M Singh and Neel Mehra must be appreciated. They are patient, dedicated and compassionate individuals whose efforts must be lauded. Their efforts reflect on the rest of us OCs and describe just the kind of people we are and want to be!!

Warmly
Vijay

 

Assistance Updates for Mrs DeMellow

Dear All,
The appeal from BM Singh has elicited a very quick, spontaneous and heart warming response. Here they are, in reverse chronological order [and the list will continue to be updated on a regular basis, so do check back]:

June 28th Update
Contributions for the benefit of Mrs Coralie deMellow continue to arrive.

  • A generous contribution was made by Pradeep S Bakshi (Rivaz 1966) who wrote as follows:
    Dear BM/NK/Vijay: I wire transferred the funds about 10 days ago. Please let me know if you have received them. I graduated in 1966. Was at BCS from 1960 to 1966. House – Rivaz. Did my B.E. From Thapar Engineering College in Patiala. Came to U.S. in 1974 to do my M.S. in Mechanical Engineering. Presently residing in Los Angeles and recently connected with Arun Bhumitra (same class) who also lives in LA.. I would love to meet up with other OC’s living in Southern California!A reply promptly went to him:
    Dear Pradeep, Thank you for your message. We confirm that the amount you sent has hit the account with a whole lot of gratitude and thanks.
    We will formally acknowledge this remittance separately but your goodness will go a long way in helping a person who suffers all the disadvantages that come with age. Her sense of relief was immense when she got to hear that boys from her husband’s old school were walking in to assist and help her.
    Thank you, again.
    Kind regards
    Sincerely
    BM Singh / N K Mehra / Vijay Khurana

(Editor: Pradeep has done exceedingly well for himself in the US where he resides as a prosperous business person. Well done, Pardeep!!)
We have employed the word staggered before but that is what such contributions do to the state of a grateful mind. Amazing. Thank you.

  • We received two other contributions and I am not sure if Mr David Murray who sent Aus $100 is an Old Cottonian. He sent a cheque accompanied by a simple message in his hand.

We have no way of formally acknowledging Mr Murray’s contribution since what arrived was his hand written note and the accompanying cheque. However, we express our warm thanks to him. Yes, there are a lot of good and loving people in India and their numbers grow as evidenced by the willing contributors to this cause !!
The other message was from Mr Saibal Ghosh, who works for Ericssons in Kolkatta. His note, also reproduced below, was accompanied by a cheque for Rs 1,000 which was a contribution from his father, Mr Kamal Ghosh, aged 84 and a former official with the Ministry of Planning. The senior Mr Ghosh had read about Mrs Melville deMellow’s condition and was touched by the situation. His son found us from the net and his father has contributed the amount from his pension fund !! The Ghosh family has no OC connection. We gratefully accept the amount and will put it to use for the benefit of the lady. In fact when we spoke to Mr Kamal Ghosh he offered to send more funds, if required ! “Just let me know,” he said!!

We offer our profuse thanks to all these and other previous contributors. Each one’s contribution has been delivered with a goodness of their hearts and we respect their feelings.

 

Thank you all, once again.

 

B M Singh, capable man that he is, passionately directed by N K Mehra, have spent considerable time and effort in making arrangements for Mrs DeMellow. We disbursed an initial amount of Rs 10,000 and sent another similar amount today. We will send this figure into her account every month from the corpus of approximately Rs 3 lakh that we currently hold. This should cover her needs sufficiently and the amount was arrived at after a detailed discussion with her care givers, Mr I K Bhatia and Ms Breda Dayal.

 

Further updates will follow.
Sincerely,
OCA India

 

June 16th Update New contributions received:

  • Param Singh – US $2000.00

Dear Vijay, Thanks to you, NK and BM Singh for doing this. Attached is a pdf file of a wire transfer that I initiated yesterday, June 14th. I just checked and the money has been withdrawn from my account. Param

My dear Param, Thank you for your mail, which I first saw on my BlackBerry. I knew it deserved a quick response.

Sometimes you get an eye popping mail and this was one of those. You have no idea of what this means to the effort. I know there is an abundance of good people out there but it strikes you when a person does it in the manner that you did it. Quietly and unobtrusively but in a most meaningful way for an effort that has brought so many of us together. I recognise and thank you for your contribution. I am simply delighted. It would be nice to see Mrs Coralie deMellow pass her days with relative comfort and it feels nicer that we have been in some way instrumental to help that life ease through this passage with less tension – and, hopefully, less pain. Thank you, again.

Actually, I have been meaning to write and get you to come over with the family for your 1962 reunion. The guys would love it. I also have plans to get C M Kohli over. You and he are the prominent ones from your year who live outside the country but do visit from time to time. This year would be special for all of you. Please give it a good hard try and you will have a lot of happy people to meet !!

I will, naturally, place updates on our efforts with Mrs Coralie deMellow. She is a tough bird, I might add but deserving of the attention that she is getting.

Warm regards

Sincerely

Vijay

Param was always the brainy one, really good at math/science which I was not (turned out decades later I am learning disabled). Very quiet and dignified, said as little as possible which is a key trait for success in life! I am so glad he made it to the States: he did it on merit, I made it here because of family, nothing I did. Like Vijay, I am very impressed by Param and Anne’s generosity.
 
Umesh Dutta, the other Class 1962 geek, refused to the States: he told me all but three of his ITT class left for overseas. He was proud to be Indian and felt his place was India. I admired Umesh’s stance, yet I am happy today it is widely accepted you can be a true Indian even if you work/live overseas.
 
Re. Mrs deMellow: none of this would have been possible without Vijay’s efforts to mobilize us for the cause. I’d be interested to know how many contributors are doing their good deed because its Vijay that’s asking. Would I be wrong if I said I believe its 100%?

Ravi [Rikhye]

 

June 11th Update

  • Arun Basak (Lefroy 1961) – Rs 10,737
  • Justice R S Sodhi (Curzon 1962) – Rs 10,000
  • Rear Admiral Rakesh Chopra (Curzon 1963) – Rs 5,000


June 7th Update

I received the following touching and simple message from one of the recipients on the mailing list !!. I am unable to name the person since he would like to remain anonymous and I am obliged to respect his wishes.

 

Dear Vijay :

Thanks for the details .

I have sent Rs 10000/- now and then a monthly Rs 1500/-. You should have this amount in your account by Friday maximum. This is only to inform you but I will appreciate if you will keep this to yourself and do not disclose. I would like to be remain anonymous. Further if ever you are restrained for fund for Mrs DeMello pls do not hesitate to let me know With Gods help we will try to do our best.

Warm rgds 

(Note: suitable editing effected to text above)

 

I am personally touched by his contribution and the wishes that he expressed in his phone call yesterday. Super guy, absolutely perfect as can be!!

 

To the donor, I wish to inform him that the funds will be traced since I have his credit advice. He has our profuse thanks and gratitude.

 

Warm regards.

Sincerely

Vijay

 

  • Anonymous Rs 10,000
  • Fred Bourne (Australia) sent in Rs 26,865

Click here to see the spreadsheet updated

June 6th Update

Dear All,
The fund for the care and benefit of Mrs DeMello keeps building up and that process seems to be gaining momentum. What is most exhilirating, and I use the word deliberately, is the manner in which these donations have been made. Some of the amounts may seem small but I believe that they were made with the biggest hearts and that is what is so thrilling. The larger amounts were received with the same degree of gratefulness and reverence. We recognise the capacity of the person making that donation but more importantly we salute them for their large hearts. Thank you, guys.

New contributions received:

Ravi Rikhye:  Rs 2074
Anonymous:  sent in another Rs 1620
Tippakorn Krit:  US$ 200
Ranbir Brar: Rs 10,000


An account has been opened and is being operated
 (any two signatories) by:
B M Singh
N K Mehra
Vijay Khurana

The details of the account are:
Account number: 130 20 100 25 1233
Federal Bank Ltd,
Nehru Place Branch
New Delhi 110 019 India

The Swift code for those sending payments from abroad in US $ for the account is:
Credit USD
To Standard Chartered Bank , New York 
Swift code SCBLUS33
a/c no 3582021646001
Fedwire routing 026002561
With Federal Bank, Cochin, Swift code – FDRLINBBNDD.
For final credit to a/c no13020100251233 of Mr. B M Singh / N K Mehra / Vijay Khurana.
(It is a bit of a circuitous pathway for the money to move but the Federal Bank has its US$ account in New York and collects it $ funds from there most smoothly. Just instruct your banker to follow the route indicated above.)

A special request to those sending payments from abroad. Please send us your name, address details and a copy of the mail transfer so that we can locate the payment and also acknowledge your contribution. This is important.
Meanwhile we will update you on the efforts being made to offer Mrs DeMello care and comfort. We will revert.

Warm regards
Sincerely
Vijay Khurana

 

May 31st Update
The following contributions received and gratefully acknowledged: 

  • Rs 10,000 from JMS Aulakh [Rivaz 1958-66]
  • Rs 10,000 from KMS Aulakh [Rivaz 1960-68]
  • Rs 30,000 from Ashni [and Nutan] Behal [Ibbetson 1958-65]
  • Rs 3,000 from NK Akers [Lefroy 1962-65]
  • Rs 1,000 RLV Nath [Rivaz 1954-62]
  • Rs 5,000 Narinder Yadav [Rivaz 1978-82]
  • Anonymous  Rs 1,620
May 25th Update 
  • VIJAY KHURANA: Here is some more news. The OCA network is fabulous and it does work. Sukhinder Singh (Lefroy 1961) used his considerable and solid skills of appeal to move the people who could assist Mrs DeMello. This resulted in Mrs Ambika Soni restoring the small pension of Rs 1500 per month for Mrs DeMello. Incidentally, Mrs Soni’s husband is an OC but that was not the person Sukhi tapped for the good cause!! This amount, welcome as it is, is still likely to be insufficient to cover the needs of Mrs DeMello and contributions are still invited and welcome.
  • N K Akers (Lefroy 1962-65) called last evening from Cairo and he has arranged to send Rs 3,000 for the support of Mrs DeMello. These wonderful gestures keep pouring in and are an endorsement for the cause. In his conversation, NK Akers was warm and effusive in his support for the cause at hand. Heart warming words, genuine and sincere. Thank you, NK.

May 22nd update

  • Shiv Kapoor (Lefroy ) who is sending a cheque for Rs 5,000 immediately.
  • Manjit Dayal [Curzon 1962 batch] and his wife Breda are lending a lot of support to Mrs DeMello. Our grateful thanks.
  • Arun Kochhar (Curzon, 1958-1963) wrote :
  • Dear BM, Have seen your appeal on the website. Wilco. Cheque in post to Vijay. Take care. Arun
  • Anonymous: The most interesting response has been from an OC who currently lives on government support of approximately $ 500 a month but is willing to send in US $30 a month on a regular basis. His first payment through PayPal was sent even before we sent out a formal appeal, with the following message:
    I just sent you (see below) a few dollars – please, give the converted Indian Rupees to Coralie, Mr. De Mello’s widow. Please, (anonymously) do not use my name – just say ‘a blessed and grateful OC’. Let us see how the OCs respond. If need be, I am prepared to send $30 every month to her for the rest of her life. Please, keep me updated on this issue.
    We know for sure that this OC needs that money as much as Mrs DeMello does but is willing to part with what he can without any hesitation or reluctance but with feeling and emotion. He is to be applauded and loudly thanked!!
  • KS Dugal (Ibbetson 1961): “I will be glad to subscribe to a support fund for his widow“.

Assistance sought from OCs for Coralie deMellow [OC Melville deMellow’s widow]

Dear OCs,

In continuation to the message I sent earlier, we have decided to take the following measures based on the information currently available to us.

Mrs Coralie DeMello deMellow is in dire need, given her age and condition, of physical care and assistance. She needs a person to help and assist her with simple household chores. Moving around the house, answering the doorbell or being assisted to the toilet are some of the typical activities for which she needs support.  So, we will immediately, and as an interim measure, arrange for a reliable and capable person to be with her on a regular basis. We will then quickly assess her complete needs within the first few days and extend further help on a need basis.

The OCs charter does not provide for anything in the nature of assistance that we now envisage. So, and in order not to delay proceedings, I am setting about opening a bank account jointly in the following names:

Neel Kamal Mehra, Vijay Khurana and B. M. Singh.  We will be joint signatories to this account.

The cause is good and there has been a spontaneous out-pouring from several of you, urging the OCA into action. We are responding to these wonderful requests. I will take charge of this matter with assistance from anyone who is willing and capable of offering their time to visit and look after Mrs DeMello. Right now we need contributions and the generous and kind hearted are urged to send in whatever they can voluntarily contribute for Mrs DeMello’s deMellow’s assistance. This account will be kept only for this purpose and we will render details on the OCA website.

You may send in your cheques written out to any one of the names listed above at the following address:

The Old Cottonians Association.
1, Sri Aurobindo Marg, Hauz Khas,
New Delhi 110016 India

Any suggestions will be always more than welcome but right now I would urge you to send in your contributions to ease the life of the wife of a remarkable and outstanding OC who did so much for our country and our School!! 

I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely,

B. M. Singh
President
OCA India

May 22nd 2012
EDITOR:
Click here to read the ASSISTANCE SUPPORT PAGE

Help for Old Cottonian Melville deMellow’s widow

Dear OCs

The denial of pension to Melville de Mellow’s widow, Coralie  who is now 95 years old is a shame. We Old Cottonians must unite and assist the lady as she is the widow of a distinguished OC who was an icon. We all will remember, with a touch of nostalgia and pride, his live commentary on the Republic Day parades. This is an appeal to all OCs, asking you to step forward and assist.

With regards
BM Singh
OCA India President 

Quoted from The Times of India publication:
For 2 years, AIR icon’s widow denied Rs 1.5k monthly pension

NEW DELHI: For 95-year-old fragile Coralie Emma de Mellow, every day is a struggle against red tape for restoration of a measly monthly pension of Rs 1,500, which was stopped less than two years after it was granted in recognition of her husband Melville’s iconic stature as a commentator and newscaster in the All India Radio (AIR).

Melville left a legendary legacy in live commentary. He was a crowd-stopper commentator, who created a record and shot into fame by his moving non-stop account for seven hours from an AIR van on Mahatma Gandhi’s last journey from Birla House to Rajghat in 1948.

His account of Republic Day parades for years -in his inimitable baritone in impeccable English – is still remembered more than two decades after he passed away at the age of 76 in 1989. He had the ability of transporting the adrenalin rush of a thrilling hockey match between India and Pakistan to millions of living rooms where radio used to occupy a pride of place.

The present generation mat have forgotten the excitement of live radio commentary and Melville’s gifted expertise in making listener watch the match through his voice. The authorities have forgotten that government had honoured Melville with Padma Shri in recognition of his services in AIR and Doordarshan.

Coralie fondly remembers her husband’s career from a lieutenant to an ace commentator in AIR. And she is so proud of her husband that she finds it awkward to beg for the paltry Rs 1,500 that was granted to her in March, 2008, by the government in recognition of Melville’s immense contribution to radio and TV in their nascent years in India.

But, her friends know how in her advanced years she needs this pittance. Advocate Brijesh Kalappa tried to impress upon her plight with Prasar Bharati, but was told that there was no provision for grant of monthly pension. He was promised that the Prasar Bharati CEO would try to release a lump sum amount for her. Even Congress MP and AICC general secretary Oscar Fernandes wrote to information and broadcasting minister on November 17, 2011, about the suspension of pension from January 14, 2010, and sought its early resumption. But, nothing has yielded results so far.