Back from the Mists of time: YOGA COUNTRY? Is it? / by Vivek Bhasin

Back from the Mists of time:
YOGA COUNTRY? Is it?

…yes many moons have passed since my words adorned the sacred walls of the OCA website. Stark winters, killer summers, gushing monsoons( at least this year) followed by rivers of sweat and perspiration , body odour from men that would kill a skunk in a stinking sewer …the weather in Hindoo Land especially the Big Capital is bloody awful to put it mildly. Along with seas of humanity, rusty and broken fences, craters not pot holes, uncouth characters, Himalayas of garbage, cows amongst limousines, goats amongst sleek Jaguars, a Rolls Royce Silver Shadow being driven by a God Father’s driver who looks like a Band Master of the Big Baraat Band at yesterday’s shaadi in Pat-par gunj, who doesn’t understand and gives a rat’s ass to what he is driving..be it a bullock cart in his gaau, a three wheeler hustling young foreign travellers, a tempo, tractor or the King of Cars….sweating like a pig, his pals slewed across the plush leather seats their dirty socks raising a stink to high heaven, feet sticking out of the window..yes for them it’s their janata express heading toward Patna and beyond….smoking the last end of His Master’s Benson & Hedges cig-stub and then carefully squashing it on the leather making a ugly black hole…Sab chalta hain saalay. Giving way, or being road friendly never happened here.

And die hards playing Golf at high noon hoping the temperature will drop to a cool 40 C when the sun sets. The latest Callaway Clubs, Nike golf shoes and A La Carte menus served right there in the burning cauldron. Imagining they are at the old course at St. Andrews.

..now where was I? Somewhere along the line looking pale and wishy washy you presume na? In the August edition of GQ India some johnnies in a bout of sarcasm personified by the gift of the gab and today’s twang are trying to get a 100 marks for admonishing a particular embassy. Yes on treating us like 2nd Class citizens even in our own country as we stand in line applying for a phoren visa, trying to imitate the others..sky diving, spring break and the Grand Prix at Daytona. This ain’t going to work Shri- Sir, cause you may have the G.O.T.G and project this ‘know it all attitude’ you too were trained to never give way, open doors but beat the others to get the best seat, so don’t expect ‘Mr Desi’ Consulate employee to ask you soft soul breaking questions with the air-con humming as he sits and feels like another heavy handed politician. He will heap volcanic lava over your head. So here is a Dream…Eighty Five Pure Fresh water lakes and you can choose which one you prefer. Sleep over it.

As a mature Mayoite told a seasoned Old Cottonian, me it was..” it’s us against the entire establishment Sir. Our soft Public School upbringing leads us not unto temptation but rushes forward to open doors and say yes, we agree to every fool hardy notional inkling that what the other chap says is Gospel truth., and we oblige’. He understood that our upbringing matched , that we were two soldiers against the world, on our knees we were but fighting for a cause, a just cause, because we were tutored to do things well, diligently, honestly , differently with respect and with class. Ambassadors of BCS, Ambassadors of Mayo College.

Its Bollywood with all the artificiality that is messing up this country. Our bench mark is Bollywood!! A country with 1.3 billion souls(fools, goofs call us what we like) wakes up to read and identify with Bollywood where these jokers continue to fool both young and super mature audiences, raking in trillions corrupting every soul in this country and those suckers in others as well. Keep it up! Cause no one is going anywhere. Hats Off to some who struggle to make it in this world, but not the daughters and sons of the Bollywood syndicate who get it on some magic plate brainwashing us masses, us sea of humanity..like this young Sonam Girl, she becomes a fashion icon overnight, her words are pearls of wisdom, she acts!, she is on ever cover from here to Kanya Kumari and raking it in. Great Stuff. Wonderful audiences who listen to garbage, and who cares.

Well I am not a miracle maker nor a preacher from the converted. But I do know I have my feet on terra firma. I have seen the world, 85 countries and still counting. The walk through Vina del Mar, Iguassu Falls, sunset off Bali, the Florida keys, Convent garden, Silvermere Golf Club, watching Elks at 0100 in Sweden, Rock Concerts at Madison Square Garden, driving along the Portuguese coast, dining in Tuscany, writing poetry in Versailles…evolving slowly, understanding, imbibing, educating , remembering passionately as I pen away, on board a bulk carrier that was built in China, owned by Norwegians, flies the Marshall Islands Flag, Ukrainian Crew ( great guys) on board, discharging a load of soya bean in bulk from San Lorenzo Argentina here in Hai Phong Vietnam, with ship management in Monaco, purchasing in Cyprus, her next loading is sand in bulk for Singapore, a marine safety consultant from China and yours truly from India and Sweden. Now that is what makes the clock tick-tock. We are all Gentle Persons.

That is what Bishop Cotton School taught me. This is what Mayo College taught him.
My parents taught me. His parents taught him
My family taught me. His family taught him

Not some Raj, Lalu, Malu from nowhere who suddenly crapped a million rupees and ‘don’t know how’ it happened. Full of arrogance , stale breath and yes ..Body Odour.

Vivek Bhasin
Lefroy 1961-1970

Dedicated to the Young Cottonians of Bishop Cotton School who I lectured on 5th Aug 2013: Go out into the World Young Men and pick up the BEST..leave all the rest behind.
It ain’t worth it.

29 Aug 2013

1 thought on “Back from the Mists of time: YOGA COUNTRY? Is it? / by Vivek Bhasin

  1. Richard D'Abreu.

    Mr Vivek Bhasin, what a great command of the English language you possess. I would have liked to have had
    you in our school batch when I was in the 6th Form doing our Cambridge School Leaving. English Literature and Grammar were my most difficult subjects. The message given to all Cottonians was brilliant. Good luck to you ……Dick D’Abreu. Curzon 1936 – 1946.

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